UPDATE

Hi. I wanted to let you know that I lasted 3 days without eating meat. Then I had Taco Bell (Nachos, 2 soft tacos and a chicken chalupa supreme). Surprisingly, it wasn't as good as I had been anticipating. I'm sure you've all had this experience.
I'm currently on my lunch break at work; I had ramen noodles again. It's 400 calories for the whole packet and 9 WW points. I had a whole wheat english muffin with strawberries and cream cheese for breakfast (YUM!). I eat the healthiest while I'm here because I'm so preoccupied with work instead of food, go figure!
I'm working on my sister's graduation party this week. I'm doing the decorations and couple surprises here and there. I think she might read this blog from time to time so I won't spoil anything just yet. We will be having BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, a chocolate fountain with fruit, tea sandwiches, cookies, mini WW brownies, and a picture cake! I'm so excited for her! I cried at her graduation ceremony. I couldn't even wait until they said her name, I was already falling apart! My roommate (bf) knew enough to just let me be and rubbed my back a little in support. The little sister, on the other hand, stared at me and kept asking what was wrong with my face. I used to call the middle sister "my little sister." She used to be so much smaller than me and need protecting. Not anymore! Now, she's taller than me and has her own little sister to keep track of. I can't help but to tear up at the thought of her growing up. I'll post a couple pictures when I get home. For now, you're all invited to attend:

My Wish Is Everyone's Wish

I'm sick of feeling "fat". I'm not really obese, I mean, I'm not obese at all really. I'm just not too tall so any weight I have on me looks (feels) like too much. Anyway, so I'm sick of bitching about it and not recognizing myself in the mirror. I tried (totally half-ass) to stick with Weight Watchers and it was actually very helpful in determining portion sizes. I want to try to do the vegetarian thing for a while and see how that goes. Now, I want to make something perfectly clear: I LOVE TO EAT MEAT AND I AM IN NO WAY SUPPORTING PETA. They're crazy. I'm just trying to create a healthier lifestyle for myself. I'm not cutting out milk or cottage cheese because I'm a woman and I need calcium in a natural form (not from vitamins). So right now I'm at about 135/140 and I'm 5' 4". I'll keep you posted on my progress (as if you care! I'm really just using you, internet, as a way to keep track of how I'm doing. Sorry.) I didn't have any meat today but I did have a little bit of milk and cheese. And maybe a Nutella Crepe at Ihop. But I did have a Diet Dew so that makes up for it, right? Yeah. It does.

Moving on. My sister recently shared some of her feelings regarding our upcoming journey across the country. I do share some of her feelings but I am in a different phase in my life, therefore, my feelings are a little different. I am scared to leave. I'll admit it. I'm scared that I won't fit in AT ALL in L.A. I don't really feel at home here, so how could I feel at home in a place where most of my insecurities would be on display for all to judge. For example, I have clear skin. Not "clear" as in a nice complexion, "clear" as in ZERO PIGMENT and you can see my organ systems working. Also, as mentioned above, I'm not in any kind of physical shape to be wearing shorts and stuff. There's a laundry list of issues I'm having so I'll stop there. I'm sure you get the idea. I'm sad to leave because this place has been the only stability I've had in my life and I'm comfortable in this slump I've created. I'm overjoyed at the thought of leaving here and never looking back, though. I'm not worried that I will fail in CA because it can't be worse than never really trying in the first place. I used to be terrified of failure and have this mindset that everyone expected me to be perfect. I would stress myself out at a young age trying to do everything perfect and trying to make everyone happy. Well, several therapists and breakdowns later, I realize that's not possible. To say the least. I have to be okay with failing as long as I know in my heart that I tried my hardest. Defense mechanisms be damned!

I'll have to stop there because the Dew is wearing off and it's 1 am and I should be at work on time tomorrow. Thanks for listening, or at least skimming. We'll talk soon.

Love, September

Late Start

What's up Internet? I hope you had a nutritious breakfast to get your day started on the right track. I, for the first time ever, had an omelet. Kind of. I got the recipe out of this month's Cosmo (I know, isn't it crazy that they have something actually useful in there for once instead of some "69 Tips On How To Blow Your Bf's Dad" bullshit??). Anyway, you take 4 eggs (1 yolk, 4 whites) and add peppers and tomatoes. I hate tomatoes, and normally vegetables in general, so I finely chopped up some red peppers, green peppers and onions and fried it in the pan with the eggs and some olive oil spray. Verdict: YUM! I have been making a point to eat more vegetables lately so this was a huge step for me! Moving on... I get a few magazine subscriptions for free and, besides Cosmo, I also get Body+Soul. I love it! It took a couple issues to warm me up, but I really like it now. It has a lot of practical tips and ideas and lots of interesting articles. Some of the recipes are a little too...I'll say "healthy" for me but I guess I could work up to that one day.
Let's see, what else...Oh I made small To Do list for today to get the ball rolling on getting ready to move. Aqui:
-Pick out what gets sold in the garage sale: Andre's desk, chess table, my desk?, tv stands, futon, iron bed, dressers, wine glasses
-Go through clothes in the "storage room": what gets tossed, washed, and thrown out
-Get Aunt Julie's books ready for Ebay (My great-aunt gave us all of her books when she moved into her apartment. Tons of great books including at least 1 first edition! That doesn't get sold though)
-Filing/scanning files to put on disc

We'll also be cancelling cable soon. All of our favorite finales are over so we don't need cable anymore anyway. We'll be keeping the Internets of course (can't live without Hulu!). Well I better get to work if I ever expect to actually finish this list. Which, realistically, I won't. But I learned in Body+Soul that it's ok to take it easy and go at my own pace...great advice for a lifetime procrastinator and chronic ADD sufferer. I'm keeping a positive attitude though.
Well have fun with the rest of your Saturday, Internet. I'll be nearby if you need anything.

Toodles, September

Fuzzy Brained Wednesday

Hello.
FYI I feel like I ate cotton balls and bubbles for breakfast. My head's empty. I have 342,378,465,237,846,529,873,465,872,634 things to get done and one very important part of me is non-functioning right now. I took my medicine and ate a healthy meal and downed a Pepsi Max, but I'm still a mindless idiot. I think I'll take the trash out and get part of my living room back. That should help. And if anyone's wondering, I friggin love not being at work all day. @ MyBoss: Don't think so highly of yourself and the effect you have on my life. I get to leave at 1 p.m. everyday and come home and watch hours upon hours of Fam Guy. I mean, I may not have extra money for frivolous things like food or warmth, but I'll survive. In the words of Andy Bernard, "You may have won this battle, but I'll win the next... battle."

My sister has a new blog now too. Fun! I love her. She's a keeper. I added her link to my list on the right so check it out and enjoy!

The F Word

We've started watching "The F Word" on BBC America and I love it! We were already huge fans of Chef Gordon Ramsay, but this seals the deal for us. He's so different on this show from how he is on Hell's Kitchen, for the most part. He still has little challenges for wannabe chefs and is pretty rotten to them, but he's way nicer and more friendly to his other guests. Moving on... I have been m.i.a. on here for the past week or so for a couple reasons. My roommate got pneumonia and was in the hospital for 4 days last week. He hasn't been able to work in 2 weeks and tomorrow is his first day back. It was incredibly stressful for me while he was sick and in the hospital. I was worried about him and worried how he could let it get to the point it did. It's hard to take care of a grown person on such a infant-like level without letting it affect the relationship. My boss is still up in the air about my hours which put a big strain on my attitude about juggling work and the roommate. Part of me is scared to get my hours cut even though I do have a make-shift plan put together. I really want to look it this as a blessing though. I will only have to work 20 hours a week - 4 hours a day! I can finally have my life back and focus on doing things for my future instead of spinning wheels for my present. I've cut back on a few of my expenses and I feel more in control rather than freaking out because things are changing.
Finally, I got my free issue Body+Soul magazine in the mail today and I love it! The one I got was the January/February issue and it has this "challenge" to transform your body/soul into "a new you". It goes week by week with tips and tools to follow. Day 1 has a few questions to consider:

1. What are the healthiest-and least healthy- aspects of your diet?
-healthiest = I drink at least 4 glasses of water each day
-least healthy = probably my one a day ramen habit and my need for chocolate after every meal

2. Do you have particular weaknesses?
-I think I do = chocolate, chips, and take out when I wait too long between snacks. I hate being hungry and I make bad choices when I get to that point.

3. What, if anything, would you like to change about your food choices?
-I would like to choose more fresh foods instead of ready made ones. I want to eat more vegetables and fruits every day as a habit, not out of forcing myself to do it


That's all for now friends. Take care of your body, you only get one!

-September

Pity Party!

You are cordially invited to attend a Pity Party in my honor tonight from 5 pm until question mark. Cheerios will be served as an appetizer with a delicate dinner of fried perogies and diet 7Up. Hope you can make it!

HA! I fooled you. There's no party. I'm here by myself. It sucks when my roommate has to work evening shifts. Even though we spent everywakingsecond together over the weekend, I still miss him when he's not here with me (tear). Whatever. Moving on. I had my work banquet on Saturday night and it actually ended up being a lot of fun. Plus a lot of booze. I didn't get black-out drunk or make out with anyone or anything like that. I did dance my ass off, though. It felt so good! The dinner was excellent; I had a filet drenched in garlic butter with purple mashed potatoes, carrots and green beans. My filet was cooked perfectly medium rare. It was so good!

There is a lot more I wanted to touch on tonight, but my friend just asked me to go to power hour with her at this shit hole biker bar so...I'm out! I'll be back soon, don't worry.

Cordially,

September