It Has Happened

So, my dear Internet, it has happened. I have decided to take my blogging (or lack of blogging as it may be) elsewhere. I have joined the ranks over at Tumblr. I suppose I just wasn't inspired enough here at Blogger. Yeah, I'll blame it on that. Please follow me at SeptemberNightfire.Tumblr.com if you can handle change. If you can't, I understand. I don't endorse that type of behavior, but I do understand it.

To Blogger: It was fun while it lasted. I bid you farewell.

-SN

What Am I Turning Into..

My life is garbage
that has been forgotten. It's
rotting rapidly.

The stench that was my
hopes and dreams turns to dust, blows
away with the wind.

Even my writing
suffers the wrath of broken
promises, defeat.

I can pick up the
leftover pieces or toss
them aside again.

Who really cares here?
I've let it get this bad; There's
really nothing left.

Cities I want to live in:

--New Bedford, MA + Boston, MA
--Atlanta, GA
--New York, NY
--LA feels like home
--Just visit Chicago
--Seattle

Not Enough Sunshine for a Sunday Morning

Here is a guest post from a friend going through a rough patch. No judging! Enjoy.

Can I just go back to sleep? Bc there’s nothing for me today. Ugh I hate everyone right now. My mind is such a mess right now. And I don’t think watching 8 hours of Dexter really helps. At least he has a release. And a job. Just a job would be nice right now. How do I not have a job? Seriously. Wtf. How does my husband not have a job? I feel so bad hating him so much sometimes. I hate that when I sit down to write, my head just goes blank. Maybe I should sit down to write more often so my brain would stfu. I need to write a story about someone who hurts people. I need to get every inner emotion out, no matter how repressed or fucked up it is. I hate this constant feeling of never being good enough. I hate being hungry so often. I hate how I romanticize, like, everything. Kids shouldn’t be taught that. Life isn’t romantic or sweet and no one really deserves anything just for being alive. Jesus. I hate being so negative. Part of me really wants to be a suzy homemaker and clean our house perfectly and make 3 meals a day and wear a blue gingham apron and have Tupperware parties with perfect little hors d'oeuvres and a CLEAN HOUSE. Who fuckin knows. I don’t even know what my dream is. Is that what I really want? Maybe. On an episode of Dexter, he decides he just wants to be content and lead a normal life. And at first that didn’t seem very appealing to me. Sounded boring. Then, after really mauling it over for a minute, I decided that yes, that’s what I want. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to just be content for once? To not just want want want want. For once, I don’t want to shoot for the moon and land in the stars or whatever. I want to get the job done and let that be adequate. Dear parents: thanks for making me this shitty under-achieving over-achiever that can quite get it right.

Reap The Benefits of My Boredom.

= The 10 Most Important Things They Didn't Teach You In School [via Cracked]

= Cheap Bastard Showoffs [via Yahoo!]

= PISSED [via Asylum UK]

= Watch That PuPu [via Engrish Funny]

Love It.

Honesty is The Best Policy [via ICanHasInternets]

New Look. New Ideas. New New.

So, my dearest Internet, I have changed things up a bit and decided to add a few elements to my page in hopes to move away from conventional "jobs" so I can be a blogger/awesome writer full time.
My life has changed A LOT since I moved to Southern California last July. I've learned a lot about myself, about life, and about people (family, human nature, etc.). I feel like I've been searching for peace and purpose since I was 18. I hope and pray that I've found a way to feel more complete in these areas with the plan my NEW husband and I have.
So here's the idea: We live in the San Fernando Valley now where I have a great job (surrounded by numbnuts, but I can only be so picky)and where the sun shines everyday. Unfortunately, we came up with our fool-proof idea a little late to be able to stay out here so we are moving back home for a little while to pay off bills and get back on track. Then, we are going to start a new Lifestyle blog and travel around to different cities, staying a few weeks at a time to see how people live in different areas. One thing about the area that we come from, is that no one has any real perspective on life out side the shit hole that is Northwest Ohio.
For now, I'll be adding new types of posts that will be leading up to our new blog that should be ready in the next couple months or so. So, since today is Monday and Mondays are terrible by nature, I shall provide a small dose of smile. Thanks for stopping by! -SN

1. Rickyisms

2. Why You Can't Find Something You're Looking For

3. I just can't look away.

4. Yoda Kitteh

I LOVE Being an Adult

It's too bad that I'm not "allowed" to be one at this time. Details to follow.

This Is Not Possible

I am so bored! This is terrible and I'm going crazy sitting here every single day and night. Don't get me wrong, I love watching endless episodes of The Office. And I love living in constant vacation mode, but I think I might start pulling my hair soon.

Hey, It's Monday!

I paid bills today. That was the first thing I accomplished this morning. Then I went to school and took a Philosophy test. I started a new medication last week so I'm still figuring out how it's working and affecting me. Who knows.
Anyway, our test was pretty straight forward and my sister and I found a good way to remember everything for it. We decided to relate the info to things in our lives. For instance, we were studying Hysteria and what the traits were for someone who had it. We could really only think of one person who had, and I'm not kidding, pretty much every single trait on the list. So after discussing these details, we decided to perform a social experiment on this person. For our own sick pleasure, of course. Because, y'know, why not? We will be tracking this person's every move, emotion, snarky remark, shitty look, but more scientifically, every hysterical trait that he/SHE may (absolutely) possess. We live in a constant vacation; we need to entertain ourselves somehow.
Geesh, what else. There is seriously nothing going on right now. And it's driving me insane. Oh, okay, here's something. I'm trying to get into freelance writing and it's, big surprise, not as easy as I thought it would be. I really enjoy writing and I think I can write on several different topics so if you come across anything, please let me know! I've applied for a few different jobs but nothing has really come of it so far. I've been checking my email more obsessively than I normally do and it's really starting to bum me out. I actually just checked it, just now, and got denied. Sad.
Well I should wrap up this boring post with a quick shout out to someone I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my fiancee. Smile :) He moved out here with me and we're living with my parents right now and he's been such a trooper! My family is not easy to live with and we have zero privacy. He sold his car before we left so we could have money to move and pay MY bills. Of course he's been a little fussy here and there but who wouldn't be under these circumstances? I know I would be a psycho if the tables were turned. But, then again, his family situation is WAY different than mine. (Lucky) Kidding! (Not Really)

Until I have something relevant to say,
September

WHOA.

It's literally been forever since I've written to my beloved Internet. I am so sorry. Please don't leave me. I've been busy (not really) with school and trying to look for a job (halfheartedly). Things are bad in this economy, y'know. (Whatever). Personally, I think you make your own luck and create your own destiny and whatnot.
Moving on, I live in California now! It's November 1st and the temperature is going to be in the 90's today. I went Trick-or-Treating with my sisters last night under clear skies. That would never happen in T-Town; Halloween there is always cold and rainy. Toledo has a way of poetically keeping your happiness in check.
I think, since it's November, we should all remind ourselves of what we're thankful for. I may write more today, but right now I'll end this with one simple observation I made this morning. The sun is shining and the grass is (finally) growing.

What more could I ask for?
-September

I just found this in the dirt

Story time! I was walking along the road today and I found this crumpled piece of paper resting beside a daisy.. Of course I picked up this seemingly innocent piece of garbage because I'm very Earth conscious (or maybe just nosey).. I found some peace in reading the thoughts scribbled on the page and thought I'd share. I'm sure we've all had a day like this person has. Enjoy!

"I feel like my life is someone else's stupid joke. Yeah well FU whoever's laughing because it's not funny. My boss is such a dick. I wish I could tell him to go F himself ... and throw that ugly Coach bag in his face. "Hey (boss) F OFF. You're not hot. You're a douche" He's so gross and totally ruins the case to date hot guys....Fucker. I want those glasses from Urban Outfitters that say that on them then send them to (boss) for his birthday. "Hey Happy Birthday Fucker". Yesterday was all down hill after work and since (bf) was actually really nice I'll have to take it all out on (boss) today. So Fuck him for screwing up school for me and making my dad leave again and for (bf) not taking me to his LAN party and let's not forget - my hours! Dickhole. I'd like to see him try to survive on less than $200/week. I mean, don't get me wrong - That's a more than fair wage in a 3rd world country. So maybe I should just STFU and be greatful. As I sit here and have ramen noodles for dinner..."

The rest was pretty torn up and I could barely read it. But you get the jist... I'm sure we've all had a boss like that who only cares about himself and days like that when things just don't go your way. I hope this disgruntled author has a better day coming up soon. For now, I will be thankful for the wonderful boss I have and all of the things he's done to help me out. Thanks BOSS!

Guess Who Got a New Camera.....

UPDATE

Hi. I wanted to let you know that I lasted 3 days without eating meat. Then I had Taco Bell (Nachos, 2 soft tacos and a chicken chalupa supreme). Surprisingly, it wasn't as good as I had been anticipating. I'm sure you've all had this experience.
I'm currently on my lunch break at work; I had ramen noodles again. It's 400 calories for the whole packet and 9 WW points. I had a whole wheat english muffin with strawberries and cream cheese for breakfast (YUM!). I eat the healthiest while I'm here because I'm so preoccupied with work instead of food, go figure!
I'm working on my sister's graduation party this week. I'm doing the decorations and couple surprises here and there. I think she might read this blog from time to time so I won't spoil anything just yet. We will be having BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, a chocolate fountain with fruit, tea sandwiches, cookies, mini WW brownies, and a picture cake! I'm so excited for her! I cried at her graduation ceremony. I couldn't even wait until they said her name, I was already falling apart! My roommate (bf) knew enough to just let me be and rubbed my back a little in support. The little sister, on the other hand, stared at me and kept asking what was wrong with my face. I used to call the middle sister "my little sister." She used to be so much smaller than me and need protecting. Not anymore! Now, she's taller than me and has her own little sister to keep track of. I can't help but to tear up at the thought of her growing up. I'll post a couple pictures when I get home. For now, you're all invited to attend:

Save The Whales with Hayden!

My Wish Is Everyone's Wish

I'm sick of feeling "fat". I'm not really obese, I mean, I'm not obese at all really. I'm just not too tall so any weight I have on me looks (feels) like too much. Anyway, so I'm sick of bitching about it and not recognizing myself in the mirror. I tried (totally half-ass) to stick with Weight Watchers and it was actually very helpful in determining portion sizes. I want to try to do the vegetarian thing for a while and see how that goes. Now, I want to make something perfectly clear: I LOVE TO EAT MEAT AND I AM IN NO WAY SUPPORTING PETA. They're crazy. I'm just trying to create a healthier lifestyle for myself. I'm not cutting out milk or cottage cheese because I'm a woman and I need calcium in a natural form (not from vitamins). So right now I'm at about 135/140 and I'm 5' 4". I'll keep you posted on my progress (as if you care! I'm really just using you, internet, as a way to keep track of how I'm doing. Sorry.) I didn't have any meat today but I did have a little bit of milk and cheese. And maybe a Nutella Crepe at Ihop. But I did have a Diet Dew so that makes up for it, right? Yeah. It does.

Moving on. My sister recently shared some of her feelings regarding our upcoming journey across the country. I do share some of her feelings but I am in a different phase in my life, therefore, my feelings are a little different. I am scared to leave. I'll admit it. I'm scared that I won't fit in AT ALL in L.A. I don't really feel at home here, so how could I feel at home in a place where most of my insecurities would be on display for all to judge. For example, I have clear skin. Not "clear" as in a nice complexion, "clear" as in ZERO PIGMENT and you can see my organ systems working. Also, as mentioned above, I'm not in any kind of physical shape to be wearing shorts and stuff. There's a laundry list of issues I'm having so I'll stop there. I'm sure you get the idea. I'm sad to leave because this place has been the only stability I've had in my life and I'm comfortable in this slump I've created. I'm overjoyed at the thought of leaving here and never looking back, though. I'm not worried that I will fail in CA because it can't be worse than never really trying in the first place. I used to be terrified of failure and have this mindset that everyone expected me to be perfect. I would stress myself out at a young age trying to do everything perfect and trying to make everyone happy. Well, several therapists and breakdowns later, I realize that's not possible. To say the least. I have to be okay with failing as long as I know in my heart that I tried my hardest. Defense mechanisms be damned!

I'll have to stop there because the Dew is wearing off and it's 1 am and I should be at work on time tomorrow. Thanks for listening, or at least skimming. We'll talk soon.

Love, September

Check it Out

• Whole Living
  
• Johanna Swith
• Yoga Today
• Huffington Post: Behind-the-Scenes Whitehouse Pictures
• This is Why You're Fat: Donut Fries
• Freecycle
• College Degree: The Top 100 Productivity and Life Hack Blogs For College Students
• Westwood College: Breakdown of Average Student Budget
• Smashing Apps: 13 Useful and Free Websites to Make Your Lives Easier
• Moo: 10 Free Business Cards
  

Late Start

What's up Internet? I hope you had a nutritious breakfast to get your day started on the right track. I, for the first time ever, had an omelet. Kind of. I got the recipe out of this month's Cosmo (I know, isn't it crazy that they have something actually useful in there for once instead of some "69 Tips On How To Blow Your Bf's Dad" bullshit??). Anyway, you take 4 eggs (1 yolk, 4 whites) and add peppers and tomatoes. I hate tomatoes, and normally vegetables in general, so I finely chopped up some red peppers, green peppers and onions and fried it in the pan with the eggs and some olive oil spray. Verdict: YUM! I have been making a point to eat more vegetables lately so this was a huge step for me! Moving on... I get a few magazine subscriptions for free and, besides Cosmo, I also get Body+Soul. I love it! It took a couple issues to warm me up, but I really like it now. It has a lot of practical tips and ideas and lots of interesting articles. Some of the recipes are a little too...I'll say "healthy" for me but I guess I could work up to that one day.
Let's see, what else...Oh I made small To Do list for today to get the ball rolling on getting ready to move. Aqui:
-Pick out what gets sold in the garage sale: Andre's desk, chess table, my desk?, tv stands, futon, iron bed, dressers, wine glasses
-Go through clothes in the "storage room": what gets tossed, washed, and thrown out
-Get Aunt Julie's books ready for Ebay (My great-aunt gave us all of her books when she moved into her apartment. Tons of great books including at least 1 first edition! That doesn't get sold though)
-Filing/scanning files to put on disc

We'll also be cancelling cable soon. All of our favorite finales are over so we don't need cable anymore anyway. We'll be keeping the Internets of course (can't live without Hulu!). Well I better get to work if I ever expect to actually finish this list. Which, realistically, I won't. But I learned in Body+Soul that it's ok to take it easy and go at my own pace...great advice for a lifetime procrastinator and chronic ADD sufferer. I'm keeping a positive attitude though.
Well have fun with the rest of your Saturday, Internet. I'll be nearby if you need anything.

Toodles, September

I Guess I'm Moving Too

So the roommate and I have thought a lot about it and we're going to move to CA with my dad! I have no idea on any solid details yet but I need something, anything, to look forward to right now!

Fuzzy Brained Wednesday

Hello.
FYI I feel like I ate cotton balls and bubbles for breakfast. My head's empty. I have 342,378,465,237,846,529,873,465,872,634 things to get done and one very important part of me is non-functioning right now. I took my medicine and ate a healthy meal and downed a Pepsi Max, but I'm still a mindless idiot. I think I'll take the trash out and get part of my living room back. That should help. And if anyone's wondering, I friggin love not being at work all day. @ MyBoss: Don't think so highly of yourself and the effect you have on my life. I get to leave at 1 p.m. everyday and come home and watch hours upon hours of Fam Guy. I mean, I may not have extra money for frivolous things like food or warmth, but I'll survive. In the words of Andy Bernard, "You may have won this battle, but I'll win the next... battle."

My sister has a new blog now too. Fun! I love her. She's a keeper. I added her link to my list on the right so check it out and enjoy!